.....suffice to say it's not going all that well. Ok truth be known, it's not going anywhere at all. Bar in the wrong direction.
In my defence (I'm not sure I would have made the best lawyer in the world - even I can predict this argument it going to be, frankly, piss poor), this is an online order that I had made before the realisation that I had more excess Zara stock littering the bed in the spare room than they have in their warehouse.
The obvious thing to do in these circumstances would, of course, be to merely take the offending items straight back. However a) I'm not sensible and b) would I always be thinking that I'd missed the perfect item had I not at least given them the courtesy of trying them on? Well of course.
Luckily a couple of items (which, truth be known, were only there to get the free delivery. Oh the shame) were ming a ring ding. But, total sod's law, there was a complete beauty in there which I am really over the moon with and will have to keep. "justification alert" It's a maxi dress which, being Gulliver's sister at 5ft10, I struggle with finding, big time. Coupled with the fact that I have boobs the size of fried eggs, a clavicle that Skeletor would be proud of and the boniest pigeon chest I personally have ever clapped eyes on, it's a no brainer that I "must" keep any maxi dress that looks half decent on me. As most are beyond hideous.
I'm pretty pleased with this one.
What I'm even more pleased with, is that it was a quite brilliant £39.50 from Dorothy Perkins. Unbelievable. Clearly it's not silk but to be fair, I don't feel that I need to have a "steer clear of naked flame" sign tattooed on my forehead whilst wearing it, as often is necessary with man-made fabrics. Here is a link to the tall version (unfortunately they only seem to have larger sizes left but I stalked the page every day for a fortnight and spotted a 12 - it ties at the back so actually on the larger side doesn't seem to matter). And here it is in the regular length. Again they only seem to have it an 18 but if you're after a maxi dress that's a bit more unusual and easy to dress up or down, then I'd say it's worth either looking instore or bookmarking the page for returns. One thing I would say is I'm not sure how easy it would be to wear a bra under it. I will fess up right now that this is an area where my expertise is completely lacking (ditto my boobage). A strapless bra though, if you're comfortable in them, may be your only option.
Since my trouser and scarf success at Dorothy Perkins a couple of months ago, I have been perusing the site, especially the Tall section, every now and again - clearly it's paid dividends.
So that was Day One of the spending ban resulting in a massive fail. I would though, like to point out at this juncture that another parcel arrived yesterday as well - a colour block maxi dress by Mango which is bizarrely only available from ASOS. I thought it would be perfect for a smart casual wedding I have in Italy in August - they're a very laid back, laissez-faire couple and a maxi dress would fit the bill perfectly (it's going to be stinking hot and I don't do short dresses very well - as I may have mentioned one or a million times). Unfortunately it was too big and they've sold out of all smaller sizes. I was telling my tale of woe to The (decidedly uninterested) Husband, shoving the laptop under his nose with the pic and his comments? "You were thinking of wearing this dress to the wedding? It's a bit Sueleen, isn't it?". Hmm.
Anyone who watches The Voice will realise that this is the fairer half of the duo on Team Tom (if you don't, this will be about as interesting to you as talking to a dead pot plant). Now I am, in fact a big fan of Matt & Sueleen. However channelling her fashion sense isn't really on my agenda for this S/S. Needless to say I now view the dress in a completely different light and shall not be tracking it down in a smaller size. Here is the dress in case anyone would like a giggle at my expense. I still maintain, had it fitted, I may well have kept it.
Right, onto what I've been out and about in this week - a week of funny old weather again. Monday was a scorcher. The weather forecasters got it right and so I didn't look like a dick. Thanking you kindly sirs.
Natural rectangle linen jumper - The White Company
White skinny jeans - Dorothy Perkins
Apricot and oatmeal scarf - Mint Velvet
Rose gold ballet pumps - Zara
Vanilla Roxanne bag - Mulberry
And back to November for Tuesday morning. Actually it did warm up in the day and I was rather warm come pick up, it had to be said. Looking therefore slightly more dickish...
Black and blush tie dye top - All Saints
Grey Baxters - Topshop
Washed black suede jacket - All Saints
Nude jersey scarf - Mint Velvet
Black suede stud ankle boots - Pied a Terre
Dull gold chunky link bracelet - Made
Brown leather and chain detail cuff - Hultquist
Cheetah print ponyskin shopper - Zara
Wednesday - today was officially chilly. Luckily I was indoors shopping for an outfit for Rugrat One to wear to our Big Day Out on Saturday. Buying an outfit for a 7 year old tweenager girl. Risky. Very very risky. There doesn't seem to be an awful lot between toddler style cutesy dresses and very underage prostitute. A fine line. Monsoon may just have been my saviour.
Whether or not I succeeded in sticking to the spending ban (for me, RR1 doesn't count clearly) on Day Two will be revealed tomorrow. Maybe....
I am officially now trawling the dregs of my wardrobe as I am so so sick of wearing my A/W clothes. Trying desperately to crack open the Spring wardrobe but feel like an utter numpty everytime I do and end up covered in goosebumps. Today being a prime example. And it's only set to get chillier by the weekend. Joy. Who knows what beauties I will unearth for tomorrow.
White loose shirt with silk hem - H&M
Distressed skinny ankle zip jeans - Zara (I have had these for so many years, they've actually come back into fashion)
Grey blazer with silver buttons - Topshop (I've had this for years - can't even remember why I bought it as every time i've worn it I've hated it. This is the first time I've ever felt comfortable in it. Go figure. The weather has clearly performed some sort of lobotomy on me)
Pearl, coin and silver multichain necklace - Jaeger
Silver ballet pumps - Zara
Fuchsia Roxanne tote - Mulberry
I've had a number of requests for a similar jacket to the blush sequin one I had on last week from Zara. Alas it is no longer for sale but I've been doing some research and will be back next time with a little round up of some statement jackets. Can you tell I love a statement item? (I'm sure everyone's realised by now, it's purely code for "the rest of my outfit is either a) monumentally dull or b) incredibly cheap)") Till next time. xx